Never Split the Difference- Chapter 2
Chapter 2 – be a mirror
There is a TON of great information in this chapter but I wanted to highlight what I think, are the most important points for your own life.
First things first, SLOW IT DOWN!
Going too fast is a mistake many people make when they are in a negotiation. Rushing through everything makes people feel like they are not heard, they feel like they are not valued and start putting up walls. A great thing about slowing down is that you can start to calm down if it’s a tense conversation.
Chris Voss suggests that there are 3 types of voices when it comes to negotiation. The late-night DJ voice, the playful and cheerful voice, and the direct assertive voice.
With the late-night DJ voice, you create an aura of authority and trustworthiness without creating defensiveness, this is of course if applied correctly.
The playful and cheerful voice should be your default voice. It’s way easier to build rapport when you are friendly… another tip is to smile :).
The direct and assertive voice: used rarely. Will cause problems and create pushback.
I picked up this skill back when I started in sales without even realizing it. You repeat the last three words (or the critical one to three words) of what someone just said. People are drawn to what’s similar. Mirroring is the art of insinuating similarity, which facilitates bonding. Using mirrors encourages the other side to empathize and bond with you, keeping the other side talking buys you time to regroup and usually reveals the other side’s strategy.